maybe.... just maybe

this just may be the very first day in over three weeks that i'm feeling more normal ! YAY !!

i've had a bit of pressure in the back of my head, but i've also been relatively dizziness-free. i am pretty amazed. i hope it's the beginning of the end of this horrible, incipid illness.

yesterday i asked Helen (my boss at work) to please get rid of the 97 opps that i had in my in-box. she agreeded, which was really cool. today i go to check on something in my sales system and all of a sudden i noticed that ALL my opps are completely gone. all that hard work, disappeared.

so i wrote to Helen asking her about this strange thing. she wrote back saying "we cannot get rid of only the un-sent opps, we have to take care of all your opps). that means that 2-1/2 months of hard work were re-assigned to different agents. at first i freaked out. i called Annette and she told me to check this and that. she also told me to write back to Helen, basically saying "okay, but what about all my hard work. who gets the commission for an order that comes in from my previous work?" Helen still hadn't answered me by the time Shabbat started.

then i got to thinking: it's a good thing that i start with a clean slate when i get back to work. i won't have to worry about follow-ups to all the previous work i had done. i got 4 orders this week without working, so maybe all the old stuff had run it's course and now i can start clean.

i now hope that some of the previous opps will bring in some orders to the agents that got them. another 20 dollars here or there is not going to make that huge of a difference for me, so i'm okay with the whole thing.

i'm praying to God on this Shabbat that i am really on the way to full healing. i've been praying a whole lot lately, so much more than usual. especially yesterday, when i woke up so depressed, hot and anxious. i cried to God "PLEASE HELP ME !" tears running down my face. and you know what? He came through :-) just like He always comes through. within a few short hours i had talked with all the kids, with Oren, with Annette, i had gotten an order, and i saw the kitchen clean for the first time in days. now, tell me that God is not AWESOME !!!

now i'm here at home, enjoying a weekend of quiet with the girls in Tel Aviv (no one to fight with me over the tv), i'm feeling a whole lot better in my head, and life is good.

yeah, baby :-)

Elissa

who is Elissa? what is Elissa?

i *met* Elissa on the DietWatch boards some years ago... i have no idea how many years ago. she could probably tell us all the exact date.

from the very beginning she was a ray of sunshine. a warm, open person with such kindness and compassion. it was a bit difficult to believe, mostly because most people just aren't like that anymore... especially to complete strangers.

what is Elissa? now this is the most fun. she is intelligent. she is clever. she is a bit reserved with her own self, yet reaches out in a subtle and kind manner. she is loving; something that comes through so clearly when she speaks of her beloved *kids* (her pets). she is funny, really funny.... a dry wit that i just love.

i look forward to her daily posts, and really, really miss her when she's not around due to her many interesting commitments. she is a teacher. she's a wiz with statistics, something that just makes my jaw drop. i swear to God, she's attached to Excel at the hip ;-)

she is generous, almost to a fault. she gives of herself in such a compelling manner. you can't get away from her caring eye, her soft voice, her golden touch.

Elissa........ someone very dear to me :-)

acupuncture

i think the acupuncture treatment may have helped! it's helped in the past with problems in my legs, so there is no reason why it shouldn't help at least a bit now.

how did i get back to acupuncture? well... after coming back home from the hospital yesterday (throwing up all the way back home in the taxi), i started to feel like this horrible thing that i have will just never go away. i was ordered complete bed-rest until it's completely gone. yeah, right. but, truth be told, i can't do anything besides lag around on the sofa all day long making sure that i don't move my head too much.

so, today i woke up feeling WORSE !! eeggaaddss! i started praying. and i prayed more and more and more. then all of a sudden i remembered acupuncture. walla! it really was God that put the thought in my mind because it happened that Rebecca (my wonderful chinese medicine doctor) was available this evening and i zipped over to her.

after the treatment the strangest thing happened. even though i had slept very well until 3:30 pm, after the treatment i was so sleepy and groggy that i slept again for a few hours. i know that it was the treatment starting to work it's magic. i woke up just in time for a wonderful episode of Midsomer Murder and i'm feeling pretty good right now. i can't be on the computer too much longer because it's just pushing it too much.

so........ i'll be back tomorrow and tell the story of the day-after treatment :-)

things are looking up. OH !! and i got an order late this evening too. can you imagine that? i haven't worked for almost two weeks and a nice order came in today. God is Good !!!

cutting one's head off

can this even be done?

i have always been totally freaked out by anything that has to do with decapitation. in films, tv shows, books, the news, etc.

but let me tell you, right now it's starting to sound really attractive to me. can i temporarily remove my head until someone figures out what the hell is going on with me?

i saw a Midsomer Murder episode today and there was a sceen where the local theater was putting on a showing of Hamlet. there is always that sceen "To Be Or Not To Be", where Hamlet is holding a skull. i was jealous of the skull !

my three minutes are up. this is just too frustrating !!!

uugghh!

yeah, that's right.... uugghh !

i'm still the same and i'm beginning to think that it's never going to change.

i've tried several times to sit at the computer for more than five minutes, only to find out that even five minutes is way too long.

thank you to everyone who has sent me well wishes and prayers :-)

i'll post when i know what's going on.

in the meantime, take good care of yourselves and have a healthy, happy day!

not feeling well

i'm not well these days. something strange is happening in the left side of my brain. i have an appointment with the neurologist only on tuesday next week. i'm just taking it easy and trying to be calm and optimistic about this whole thing.

i was a bit worried about work, but who cares about work when you're not feeling good? they've been very kind and just tell me not to worry, to take all the time i need and that they'll be there when i can get back to the computer.

i have no idea how much i'll be able to be on the computer in the coming days. i don't want to push myself at all. i'll just be watching tv and resting.

i'm hoping beyond hope that this is just all stress related.... more of a physical stress, since i've been pushing myself quite a lot as compared to how my life used to be ;-)

oh well... life goes on and everything will be okay, especially if i don't have to be hospitalized.

last night was a real dinger with my gallbladder. i thought i was going to have to call Mada and take an ambulance ride to the hospital in the middle of the night!! i even threw up a few times. but, after a few painkillers, the pain eventually eased and i fell asleep at about 6 this morning.

needless to say, my body is reating to something. i hope Talianski can figure things out on tuesday, or else she'll send me to Hadassah for tests. yuck ! but i can't keep ignoring this pressure in my brain any longer.

i'll keep people updated here, whenever i can

goodnight everyone !!

week 4, day 3

already?!? since i didn't make it to the gym today, tomorrow has to be an extra special day. at least there won't be kids in the morning :-) i'm going to take all the time in the world and not even worry if i'm too tired to work in the evening !

food is as follows:

meal #1: 2 fried eggs, 2 slices lite whole wheat bread, 1 tlb lite cream cheese, 1 cup skim milk/1 scoop protein powder, 1 pear

meal #2: smoothie -- 1 banana, 1 pear, 1 apple, 1 cup skim milk, 2 scoops protein powder

meal #3: 1-1/2 cups whole wheat pasta, 1 cup homemade sauce, garden salad

meal #4: smoothie


here is the fitness plan for the day:

** 30 minutes on the treadmill
** stretches
** lower body weight training
** stretches
** 20 - 30 laps in the pool

onward and upward !!

decision made

i've made the decision to go ahead and start working on ourmodiin, in my spare time. i have lots of spare time late at night, or on the weekend, where i can spend an hour here and an hour there, progressing with the content of the site.

since the site is already designed, all i have to do is tweek it a bit and get going with the content. content is something i have a lot of :-)

so, as soon as i possibly can, i'll re-new the domain name and get going on the site. it won't be online for some months since i have so much content to start with. but at least it'll be up someday.

i've decided to have Nina and Tamar go around and do all the photography/video work that i want done. they can do a bit each week and that way i'll have completely updated pictures for the site.

:-)

this is going to be fun !!

week 4, day 2

i'm figuring that since it's a holiday, i'm going to stick with yesterda's plan, from beginning to end. the gym will be so crowded that the pool will be the only place to really get in some good exercise for a few hours.

the food plan is as follows:

meal #1: omlette (4 eggwhites + 1 whole egg), steel-cut oatmeal, 1/2 cup skim milk, 3 dates

meal #2: smoothie -- 1 banana, 1 pear, 1 apple, 1/2 cup skim milk, 2 scoops protein powder

meal #3: stir-fry with 4oz chicken breast, all kinds of vegetables, 1 cup brown rice

meal #4: smoothie


the fitness plan is as follows:

40 - 50 laps in the pool

onward and upward !!

decision made... or not

i thought i had made a very concrete decidion about ourmodiin. but all of a sudden i've started to second-guess myself about the whole thing.

there is something that is "calling" me to ourmodiin. maybe it's the fact that i've seen more of the city recently. maybe it's the fact that i have a "need" to create again. whatever the reason, i really want to do it.

but when? it's not like before when i had all the time in the world to do anything i wanted to do. and with summer here already it'll be very difficult to do all the outside stuff that i want done for the site.

i'll have to re-think this whole thing over and over again in the coming days. i have to settle the creative urges in me and i don't feel like knitting........ REGARDLESS of how many make-up afghans i have to finish ;-)

Rico says i should wait until i see how work keeps going. oh !! by the way, i got an order late last night. first time i've gotten an order over the weekend. that's kind of what started to mix me up.... that order. i'm thinking that i have to give work 100% right now, and then in some months time i'll be able to step back a bit from work and start slowly on ourmodiin.

we'll see.....

week 4, day 1

i can't believe it's already week 4! amazing how time flies when you're having fun :-)

the food plan is as follows:

meal #1: omlette (4 eggwhites + 1 whole egg), steel-cut oatmeal, 1/2 cup skim milk, 3 dates

meal #2: smoothie -- 1 banana, 1 pear, 1 apple, 1/2 cup skim milk, 2 scoops protein powder

meal #3: stir-fry with 4oz chicken breast, all kinds of vegetables, 1 cup brown rice

meal #4: smoothie


the fitness plan is as follows:

40 - 50 laps in the pool

onward and upward !!

week 3, day 7

food plan is as follows:

meal #1 - meal # 4 : smoothie... basically too lazy to do anything else.

lots and lots of water. it's been so hot that i feel parched all the time.


fitness plan is as follows:

nothing. resting and planning. planning and resting.

onward and upward !!

week 3, day 6

food is as follows:

meal #1: 2 cups branflakes, 1 cup skim milk, banana, 15 almonds

meal #2: 1 piece of delicious cheese cake, 1 cup of coffee with skim milk

meal #3: 4 oz roasted chicken, 1 cup brown rice, 1 cup roasted veggies

meal #4: smoothie


fitness plan for the day:

resting all day long

onward and upward !!

the gallbladder that never quits

ouch!!

i really, really, really have to get this stupid thing out of me. but another hospitalization? 4-7 days in the general surgery ward again? i just don't know about that. and what if i drop dead in the middle of the procedure? what then???

this thing hasn't bothered me in the past few weeks. wonder why it's calling to me now. i haven't even been sitting at the computer as many hours as i have been in the past few weeks.

just another thing i have to screw my courage up to do... *sigh*

dental work with only local anesthesia, gallbladder operation, yoga... when will it all finish?

yuck.

week 3, day 5

food is as follows:

meal #1: omlette (4 eggwhites + 1 whole egg), steel-cut oatmeal, 1/2 cup skim milk, 3 dates

meal #2: smoothie -- 1 banana, 1 pear, 1 apple, 1 cup skim milk, 2 scoops protein powder

meal #3: tuna sandwich with 2 slices of lite whole wheat bread, 4oz water-packed tuna, a tad of mayonnaise to hold the tuna together, garden vegetable salad

meal #4: smoothie

fitness plan for the day:

** 20-30 minutes on the treadmill (at a very slow pace)
** stretches on the cool stretcher
** upper body weights
** stretches on the cool stretcher
** 20 laps in the pool

onward and upward !!

YAY for me

i was trying my best to be tired this morning so i would have an excuse not to leave the house and go out into the million-degree day. but... BUT ! i mustered up my courage and did it ! since all i had to wear was my bathing suit and some sloppy clothes thrown on top of that i got dressed in 30 seconds flat (without throwing out my back again), and called the taxi. i was at the gym within minutes and in the pool for hours :-)

YAY for me :-)

about eating.... as the weather gets more and more intense i have found it more and more difficult to eat real food. this has never happened to me in the past. it's always been a problem that Oren and Racheli have in the heat. all i want are smoothies, but i can't live on smoothies alone, can i?

what to do? maybe think up, or look up, more cold foods that will be good with my BfL nutrition plan. there are only so many cans of tuna or sardines that i can open up in a week, or cottage cheese containers i can empty, for that matter.

new challenge..... when i don't really need any more challenges.

i FINALLY got connected to the soft phone system and it's giving me a headache. i don't mean to sound like a piss-ass, but the headset, being ever so ergonomic, is causing me some kind of sensory depravation and gave me a horrible headache yesterday. not to mention the back of my neck hurting from the added weight. i'll eventually get used to it though, like everything else. at least i'm able to work today after so many frustrating things going on yesterday.

Nina and Tamar decided to get into a real war yesterday. Tamar started to bake a cake... well, she started the beginnings of the cake. the new mixer works perfectly well, but for some reason her batter was as thick as.... as....... as...... well, it was way too thick and the mixer wouldn't work properly. so, of course, her answer to the problem was to start screaming and crying. Nina was napping at the time. now you get the picture, right?

cake batter, shoes, pillows, the broom, more shoes.... everything was flying in all directions, including a whole lot of curses that each one should die instantly, "Inshala". this, while i was having a nervous breakdown with my new ISP connection, my new soft phone, the sales system crashing every two minutes and a glooming headache. i wanted to do a "Denise" on the two of them, but couldn't pull myself up from the computer to do the deed. i'm going to keep a box of Clonex on my computer desk for future use ;-)

now, tfu, tfu, things are working very well. ISP finally connected and running smoothly. no system crashes, yet. headset a bit lighter. no headache. sending out a lot of previews. life is good.

gotta go and take advantage of the quiet since N & T are gone for a few hours.

please pray for some orders for me!!!

on being a chicken

i totally chickened out today with my yoga session. i don't know why i feel so scared to do it. i think that i'm not strong enough yet for it to make it worth my time and money.

i hope this fear goes away because everyone i've spoken with about it says it's about time i start doing yoga!

*sigh*

week 3, day 4

i'm starting to feel like a beached baby whale because i haven't been to the gym since last wednesday !! AND i cancelled my yoga session today. oh well, tomorrow is a new day.

food is as follows:

meal #1: omlette with 4 eggwhites + 1 whole egg, 1 cup cooked oatmeal, 1/2 cup skim milk, 15 almonds, 5 small dates (i still can't figure out where these came from and they are not finishing ! )

meal #2: smoothie -- 1 banana, 1 pear, 1 apple, 1 cup skim milk, 2 scoops protein powder

meal #3: 1 cup whole wheat pasta, 1/2 cup home-made meat sauce, garden salad

meal #4: smoothie


here is the fitness plan for the day:

40 - 50 laps in the pool -- yeah, baby :-)))

onward and upward !!!

week 3, day 3

food is as follows:

meal #1: omlette with 4 eggwhites + 1 whole egg, 1 cup cooked oatmeal, 1/2 cup skim milk, 15 almonds, 5 small dates

meal #2: smoothie -- 1 banana, 1 pear, 1 apple, 1 cup skim milk, 2 scoops protein powder

meal #3: 5 oz roasted chicken, 1-1/2 cup roasted vegetables, 1/2 cup brown rice

meal #4: smoothie


here is the fitness plan for the day:

yoga. we'll see how much i can handle. this is something so new to me that i'm a bit scared.

onward and upward !!

back to the gym, back to real life

i feel like i have travelled a few thousand miles since last wednesday.

but it was back to the gym today and i had a great time :-)

at yesterdays sales agent meeting in jerusalem i was assigned a team leader, Miriam. she's young and energetic. she will be helping me with reaching my monthly goals.

we have a new soft phone system that will connect us to our prospects, kind of like Skype. i've been have a very hard time getting my new ISP account because my router is a bit tricky for the ISP company. we're hoping that the problem will be settled today and that tomorrow i'll be able to connect through this new company internet connection so that Miriam will be able to coach me on my calls.

the meeting was very nice. they set up a large table with light breakfast foods at the entrance. then we had a big buffet lunch half-way through the meeting, when we broke up into our new teams.

it was very nice meeting all the people tha we just read about in Helen's daily emails. i was quite interested in the top sales people, Rivie, Rena and Stan. Stan is on my team and we sat next to each other during lunch. he was a great help, giving me tips and what-not. he's 70 years old, an ex-patriot from Britan. quite a character and very nice.

this is all the time i have right now.

onward and upward !!