maybe.... just maybe

this just may be the very first day in over three weeks that i'm feeling more normal ! YAY !!

i've had a bit of pressure in the back of my head, but i've also been relatively dizziness-free. i am pretty amazed. i hope it's the beginning of the end of this horrible, incipid illness.

yesterday i asked Helen (my boss at work) to please get rid of the 97 opps that i had in my in-box. she agreeded, which was really cool. today i go to check on something in my sales system and all of a sudden i noticed that ALL my opps are completely gone. all that hard work, disappeared.

so i wrote to Helen asking her about this strange thing. she wrote back saying "we cannot get rid of only the un-sent opps, we have to take care of all your opps). that means that 2-1/2 months of hard work were re-assigned to different agents. at first i freaked out. i called Annette and she told me to check this and that. she also told me to write back to Helen, basically saying "okay, but what about all my hard work. who gets the commission for an order that comes in from my previous work?" Helen still hadn't answered me by the time Shabbat started.

then i got to thinking: it's a good thing that i start with a clean slate when i get back to work. i won't have to worry about follow-ups to all the previous work i had done. i got 4 orders this week without working, so maybe all the old stuff had run it's course and now i can start clean.

i now hope that some of the previous opps will bring in some orders to the agents that got them. another 20 dollars here or there is not going to make that huge of a difference for me, so i'm okay with the whole thing.

i'm praying to God on this Shabbat that i am really on the way to full healing. i've been praying a whole lot lately, so much more than usual. especially yesterday, when i woke up so depressed, hot and anxious. i cried to God "PLEASE HELP ME !" tears running down my face. and you know what? He came through :-) just like He always comes through. within a few short hours i had talked with all the kids, with Oren, with Annette, i had gotten an order, and i saw the kitchen clean for the first time in days. now, tell me that God is not AWESOME !!!

now i'm here at home, enjoying a weekend of quiet with the girls in Tel Aviv (no one to fight with me over the tv), i'm feeling a whole lot better in my head, and life is good.

yeah, baby :-)