Saturday, July 5, 2008

uugghhh, i'm bored.......

maybe not bored, just confused and i have no energy to think about what i really should be doing with myself these days.

from the beginning...... Annette has said to me in no uncertain terms that she KNOWS that the company will be out of business within the next 9 months. okay. no biggie for me as far as an income goes. she is really worried, of course, since it IS the main income for their family.

my stupid problem? i keep having a nagging, tugging feeling somewhere in my brain and gut that keeps telling me to start already !! "what are you waiting for?" the voice keeps telling me.

there is also a sense, with AmReg, that wasn't present before all these new managerial changes came along at the beginning of June. everyone is completely unhappy with turn of events, and that gets me down. it's not that i don't like the job itselt, i just don't like how they switched the rules on us half-way through the stream. when i joined it was different, and i just don't know if i like what's going on now.

the push to make a sale is tremendous now. Annette says that in the two years that she's been with the company it's NEVER been like this. she says it's because the company is doing so poorly. she's not a stupid person and she's very well connected in the network of sales agents. i completely trust her information.

so..... the little voice in me keeps saying "why are you spending time with something that you know has no future?" good question. i DO have the power to walk out at any time. i have no contract with them. but... what if?........ i don't know. what if *what*? isn't going anywhere. it'll always be there. but will i end up waiting too long whilst someone else comes in and does another English community site and i'll be totally covered with egg on my face?? that's what has me worried. there's already another website up for Anglo-run businesses, but they are running it completely stupid. they have no idea how to *mine* for information and really make the site work. so maybe my worries are unfounded and a bit paranoid. who knows?

i think i should be doing a lot of praying about all of this.

in the meantime i'll keep killing the flying roaches that keep coming into the house !! they are really freaking me out, to say the least. i just don't want them here and they keep popping in, unannounced. at least i have my trusty can of bug-killer next to me now :-)

*sigh* (about the decisions i have to make, soon)

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